The Albertsons Adventure

Let's face it when you have a four year old in the house you never really know what is going to come spewing from their mouths.  Which I am beginning to experience more and more with Maddie.  She hears bits and pieces from everyone and then tries to put them together by herself without knowing what she is truly talking about.  Although I will have to admit it is becoming very hard not laugh at some of these hilarious things she is saying. 

The trip to Albertsons the other day was a complete comedy tour with this kid from the minute we walked in the store until we left.  It started with a teenage girl was standing in the aisle and Maddie happened to notice her obnoxious hair.  I could feel her little brains working and I noticed that she was starring at the young girl. I was trying to get the items that I needed quickly before Maddie had a chance to say what was on her mind.    In a whispering voice that wasn't so quiet as we are standing right behind this girl Maddie says "look at that girls hair, it's blue mom." However she did save it with a "but I like it." Then we continue to walk and I ask her to carry something.  "Hold on." I look down and she is shoving the cream cheese in her purse.  "Maddie, what are you doing honey, you cant do that we have to pay for it."  She says, "Mom I only have two hands and you keep asking me to carry things. I told you we needed to get a cart. "  I apologized to her and she began to take the cream cheese out of her purse.  Finally after we ran around the store getting stuff it came time to check out and she simply says, "mom don't worry I will pay for it with my credit card." She whips out the fake American express that came in the mail days early that I gave her.  The elderly lady behind us couldn't stop laughing. 

Queen Nag

Currently I am reading a book called The Happiness Project and as I was reading today the author mentions that one of her goals is to not nag, snap, or criticize.  She goes on to say how difficult it is.  My thoughts were "damn how hard can this be?"  Then it hit me like lightening, I had committed all of these acts probably before noon today.  OMG I was queen nag now that I thought about it. 

When I woke up this morning it was one of those days where I looked around and felt like I needed to motivate myself to clean the house. (My random OCD kicked in I guess.) But do you think that I could have done this in a happy, non bitter manner as Ryan so peaceful was enjoying his morning coffee?  Oh god NO!  If my morning was going to consist of dishes, laundry and cleaning rags then so was his.  And that was right about the time when the nagging, snapping, and criticism began.  However it sounded a little better in my mind because I put the words "do you think" in front of all my barking orders.  "Do you think you could help me around the house today?"  Which really translated into get off you ass, put down your coffee and computer so you can help me. 

Off and cleaning I was, laundry was started, dishes were done and I began to dust, all in time to look over and see that Ryan hadn't moved an inch.  Oh boy did the horns start to appear at that point.  (Poor guy)  It seemed as if I needed to step up the snapping a bit because he clearly wasn't getting it.  Maybe it was the putting it in question format that threw him off, like it was optional.

Next thing I see is Ryan in the bathroom cleaning out the sink with a BABY WIPE!!!!  If I can remember correctly our conversation went like this:

ME: "what the hell are you doing?"  (in a very polite tone you can imagine) 

RYAN: "I am cleaning"  

ME:"with a baby wipe? Not to mention those things are expensive" (as if I cared about the expense at that point)

RYAN: "yeah it cleans it just as well"

ME: "no Ryan a baby wipe is not even close to using a rag with cleaner."

Thinking he maybe finally got the point I continued about my business and he continued his.  I was just a lot unhappier than he was because after all he was not cleaning up to my standards. 

Later in the day was when I sat down to read my book and self analyze.  She was describing exactly how I had acted earlier today.  I couldn't help myself but to laugh out loud because once I really reflected on the situation that had transpired this morning it sounded so ridiculous.  It was me that apparently woke up on the wrong side of the bed and thought it would be OK to start barking at poor Ryan.  He was probably having a great day doing stuff that was on his agenda until I came along so rudely and popped that bubble for him. 

The truth of the matter was that I was upset with myself that I hadn't done this housework until the day that Maddie was coming home.  Because of my procrastination, it left me feeling stress and I wanted someone else to share my stress with.  All in all I have decided that I am really going to put forth some effort in not nagging, snapping or criticising.  It doesn't make me feel good nor does it make anyone in my family feel all that great.  As you can see from the above picture I even wrote it on my mirror as a nice gentle reminder. 

Forgot about gettting ready

When I went over to my mom's house the other day, she had asked me what I thought off having two kids and if it is as hard as I thought it was going to be?  I had to sit there and think for a second because nobody had really asked me that before. However, I do recall a few people telling me that I was in for a ride because it was a lot harder. With that said I love having two kids, but what did I expect was more of the question. 


To be honest I don't think I ever gave it much thought.  I mean I knew that things would change for Ryan and I, but I didn't think it would be this drastic situation.  Yeah sure we would no longer experience a quiet house when Maddie was gone at her dads and there wouldn't be anymore stopping at the casino on the way home, but I was prepared for that. 

What seems to have slipped my mind is how FREAKING long it takes to get myself and two girls ready.  You have Maddie that thinks she needs a 20 minute shower and then wants to have a 10 minute debate about the clothes that she is gonna wear for the day.  Then there is Myleigh that seems to get hungry right about the time that we are suppose to be leaving, and last but not least you have Ryan that is bitching, and always amazed at how long it takes our family to get out the door.  Somehow we manage to get wherever we are going at a decent time.  Don't ask me how this slipped my mind, but somehow it did. And I realize that this situation is only going to get worse as both my girls get older.

Here it goes...

Well as you all know I am a mother of two beautiful little girls; Madison and Myleigh. Madison just recently turned four and Myleigh is just under seven weeks.  Although I wouldn't change being a mom for the world, it is a lot of work and can be very draining at times.  Which is why I have decided that I would start blogging, hopefully I will find is as therapeutic as others do.  In all honesty when my wonderful cousin Morgan Young suggested the idea of blogging I was a little skeptical, after all I was not a writer.  But then it occurred to me that maybe I didn't need to be the worlds greatest writer in order to do a blog.  So I told myself it was worth a try.




It was now time to start thinking of a blog title, which might I add was a lot harder then I thought it would be.  Ryan and I had a few conversations about what an appropriate name would be, idea after idea was thrown out.  I wanted it to be fitting of me and my life.  There was many that I liked, but I felt like I needed to come up with something on my own.  After all this was going to be my blog, my therapy session to myself!! It made me start thinking about my life and the curvy roads that I had been down. Looking back many considered them to be pretty dysfunctional roads, but somehow I would have to agree.  Then it hit me in the shower one day...dysfunction junction, that's what I should name my blog.  It was perfect, it not only described my past, but the present as well and with two kids I am sure it will describe the future. The difference being that I love my crazy dysfunction life a lot more now then I did back then.